So Long, Insecurity

The first week of our summer book club is complete which leaves me with the task priveledge of updating the blog.  I have to say I generally consider myself to be a fairly secure person but being in the position of co-facilitator for a book club makes me a little uncomfortable insecure.  I am not really sure what these updates should be about.  For the first update, I thought I would just briefly sum up each chapter and touch on a few things that stood out to me.  Julie and I would love to know what you think of the book so far and anything that may have stood out to you. 

Chapter One:  Mad Enough To Change
Insecurity is very common.
Insecurity causes problems: crying, oversleeping/hiding, fit throwing, running, promiscuity, anger/anxiety
People/women look for security in lots of places: MEN, jobs, friends, marriage, etc. 
"Men are not our problem; it's what we are trying to get from them that messes us up."
God does not want us to spend our lives feeling unworthy and insecure.

Chapter Two: Insecure Enough to Matter

Defining Insecurity....
1- a profound self-doubt-- deep feeling of uncertainty about our basic worth and our place in this world; insecure people live in constant fear of rejection and a deep uncertainty about whether his or her own feelings and desires are legitimate
2- an insecure person harbors unrealistic expectations about love and relationships; often unconscious. Although insecure people are easily and frequently hurt, they are usually unaware of how they are unwitting accomplices in creating their own misery

Some stats...
Out of 900 women 78% admitted to having feeling of insecurity at or above a level that bothered them. 43% described their issues with insecurity as anywhere from "pretty big" to "huge"

An insecure woman doesn't look just one way; we can hide it from ourselves.  I thought this was important to point out as I think I probably am guilty of doing this at times. Pages 19-21 discuss the "face of insecurity." 
 
Chapter Three: She Doesn't Look a Certain Way

We can't make assumptions about who does and who doesn't struggle with insecurity based on what they appear to have going for them.

I think this is really easy to do.  As a teenager, I was quite insecure and thought if I were only skinnier, prettier, funnier, more athletic, etc I would be happier/more confident.  For years, I remember thinking that if girls were whispering about something it had to be about me.  As an adult, I was finally able to shed some of this innappropriate thinking.  One of the things that was so eye-opening to me was working with teenage girls as a PA at the GI clinic.  I saw so many beautiful, "popular" girls who were so much more insecure than I remember myself being at their age.  On the outside they were tall, thin, beautiful, athletic, smart, popular, etc... but more often then not these girls were seeing us in the GI clinic for chronic, stress-related, abdominal pain.  The beautiful swan-girls where no safer from insecurity than the ugly ducklings.  I always loved working with the teenagers but wished there was someway to spare them those years of overwhelming insecurity.  

Beth Moore (author) suggests that as adults we still all struggle with insecurity and it looks a little different for everyone.  Some common ways people try to seek security are... men, money, popularity, beauty, power, prestige, education, accolades at work.

I don't think any of these things all really bad things but they are false securities; not reliable to meet our needs.  I have been thinking about this a lot this week.  Where do I try to seek security?  I am not 100% sure yet but I know that 2 areas I spend a lot of time focusing on are health/weight (not same thing as beauty for me) and "control" (I need things to go as planned or it just causes anxiety for me).  These may or may not be really insecurity for me.  I am looking forward to finding out more in future chapters.

What do you tend to associate with security?  Do those things really provide the security you are seeking?

Chapter Four: Good Company
Feeling insecure? You are in good company -- even Eve struggled with it.
As we seek healing it does no good to work from the premise that we have nothing to be insecure about.  Sometimes are fears are founded. For examples of insecurity found in the bible see pages 49-56.
All this insecurity is causing me some insecurity! 
This helps...." Human flesh and blood have NO weakness so strong that God's strength is made weak."
God has what we need; it is up to us whether or not we are going to let the worst of us get the best of us.
Chapter Five: Rooting It Out
Why so insecure?  Where does it all come from?

Here are the sources that were mentioned in the book...

instability in the home
a significant loss
rejection
dramatic change
personal limitations
personal disposition

Have you been affected by anything on this list?

I know I have been and I am guessing all humans living in this sinful world have been.  What do we do about it?  I plan to keep reading to find out. 

I hope you are join me on the adventure!  Julie and I would love to know what you think of the book so far. Good, bad, and ugly!